Living together requires cooperation. Cooperation again means that both parties in the cohabitation contribute to making everyone within the walls of the home feel good in their lives and work.
For those who are cohabiting
Cooperation also means that both parties to the cohabitation respect each other, support each other and give each other the opportunity to develop as their relationship develops. Happiness lies in making the collaboration work. Unhappiness is then the shipwreck of cooperation. In fact, it is more common than many people think.
All too often, we expect our spouse to initiate something that increases happiness within the walls of the home. Our spouse should also be ready to spend time with us, to cultivate love, and to support us in times of joy and war. When that does not work, some people decide to simply leave the cohabitation, to end their relationship because “their spouse is so boring, careless, and has no interest in our relationship,” as many say!
The magic of happy cohabitation, on the other hand, is not saying “what can my spouse do…” but “what can I do for our cohabitation…”. Before claiming anything from our mate, we should get used to looking into our own bosoms. Because that’s where the key to good coexistence is hidden.
The following is a list called the “Checklist of Happiness”. The checklist includes some things that everyone can do and keep in mind to increase happiness in their relationship. If you like the list, print it out and hang it on the fridge or in another good place. Then try to “check” on the things that you have done well. You can also point your spouse to the list.
But just remember not to say to each other “Yes, this is something YOU need to do”, but to yourself, “this is something for ME”. Good luck with the collaboration.
The Checklist of Happiness
(Or some practical things I can do to enrich my relationship with those close to me.)
- I can take the time to talk to my family and / or close friends about things that really matter to us.
- I can regularly take part in something with my spouse that enriches my marriage so that our love can continue to grow with us.
- I can address problems in our relationship instead of avoiding discussing them when they arise, by talking about them and finding a common solution whenever possible.
- I can talk regularly and sincerely, preferably every day, with those I live with, my spouse and children, about our relationships and the problems of daily life.
- I can learn to cultivate love in my relationships with my spouse by satisfying both of our needs for praise, recognition, touch, warmth, respect and care.
- I can learn to participate in communities and groups that support and nurture me.
- I can criticize in a constructive and honest way and take criticism.
- I can learn to build my family by saying how I feel in our relationship, instead of breaking down with the silence.
- I can maintain my friendship with old friends, do my part to make new ones with my spouse, and support my spouse’s friendship with his or her friends.