That which should never be said to people who are divorced

Gray divorces are on the rise in the Western world. Over the past quarter of a century, the number of divorcees aged 50 and over in the United States has doubled. The number has tripled for those aged 65 and over.

We do not know what the situation is in this country because Statistics Iceland has not published new figures on divorce since 2011. Divorce is often painful not only for the couple who have decided to go their separate ways, they take care of the whole family and friends. It is not uncommon for groups of friends to disperse when a couple divorces.

People often do not know what to say to the divorced or divorced person. Even so, people want to do something and make the person who is hurting feel that his friendship matters. However, it does not matter what is said. Here are some suggestions on how to look or get an appointment for divorce. “I think you’re making a mistake,” is something that should never be said. Instead, ask what caused the person to make that decision, or what caused the divorce. Then try to follow in his or her footsteps and listen to what he or she has to say. Telling people that they are making a mistake is a certain condemnation.

“You’re better off without him or her. He or she has never understood you. He or she is a jerk, “are examples of other bad comments. Say rather: You must be angry and hurt. It does not involve any judgment of one or the other and the person you are talking to feels like you are showing some understanding of the situation. If the couple reunites, you should not be ashamed of what you said when you heard about the impending divorce.

Do not say, “You have behaved so strangely since he or she left you.” It is better to say that he or she has experienced so much newness lately. Ask: What is the most fun thing that has happened to you. Newlyweds try all sorts of new things. It’s trying to put on a new life. Give people time to adjust to changing circumstances.

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